top of page

What’s the big deal about perfection anyway?

So many of my clients in my Quantum Healing Practice tell me they are perfectionists.  Their voices generally drop a bit as though weighed down by the burden yet wearing it as a badge of pseudo -honor for their discipline, sacrifice, rigor and double edged accomplishment.  It is at that point I share a tenet I channeled, “Perfection is death.  Excellence is life”.   

This most always is met with a sigh of relief.  An escape hatch has been opened.  Guidance and truth are recognized.  It’s as if I can see the wheels turning in their heads.  Oh, this is a way I can shine without struggling to be perfect.  It would seem that  this way would offer me an opportunity to live free from the straight jacket of perfection which tends to suffocate my freedom, joy, individuality, inspiration and self-confidence.

I go on to explain that excellence is an attitude, a way of life as well as a personal expression which pays great dividends.  Imagine yourself freed from the ominous burden of having to be perfect, which of course, is unattainable.  With perfection as the goal, your failure is always assured because no matter how good, the outcome is never quite perfect.  In the end, you failed!  So you are assaulting yourself constantly by not quite measuring up to the ideal perfection though you’ve invested so much time and effort.   You’ve given your all!  What does that say about the stuff you’re made of?  However if you choose excellence, you can always win.  You can do an excellent job of anything you choose if you set your mind to it.  Interestingly, your penchant for excellence is so rewarding that you seek more of it in more areas of your life.  The satisfaction and pride build up as you’re probably getting a hit of the neurotransmitter, dopamine, from this experience.   This offers numerous desirable physiological benefits.

Beyond that, think of how or why you even got the idea to strive for perfection.  Did you somehow feel unworthy or not good enough and so chose to be perfect so you could be worthy or  acceptable?  Are you trying to buy love, affection, acceptance, respect, value, relevance, self-respect or purpose?  Who told you that you must be perfect?  Who told you that mistakes are bad?  Who told you that failure is bad?   Who told you that being good enough wasn’t good enough?  Who told you that failure must be avoided at all costs?  Who are you competing with?  What price are you willing  to pay to attain this illusive sense of perfection?  Are you willing to be lonely, exhausted, depressed, anxious, disillusioned or unfulfilled simply to be perfect?  Are you willing to trade a fulfilling rich life for the single focus needed to fight the constant battle to attain and then maintain perfection?  I sincerely hope not!

Look at your own life and ask yourself what motivates you.  What is the fuel for your engine, perfection or excellence?  How do you feel about your answer?  If your answer doesn’t feel good on a heartfelt soul level then that’s a red flag that you’re on the wrong  track.  News flash:  staying on that same track will not eventually lead to a better outcome.  How do you feel about your life?  Be honest with yourself, no excuses, no rationalizations, no justifications.  Do you feel free and alive?   Do you “feel like a room without a roof?”  Well if you don’t, then that’s a clue that you’re not living in your flow.  You’re not living your authentic life.  The kudos you might get have a short-lived expiration date yet a lifetime of price tag.   

You can imagine the sense of freedom, self-respect, inspiration, gratitude & joy when what you’ve done was excellent.  I see excellence as a way of life.  Excellence in all things, big and small, important and mundane.  No one has to even know you did an excellent job of something for it to pay dividends to your heart and soul.  This quiet pride in oneself is something that can’t be usurped.  That’s genuine.  It’s not a participation trophy.  And it propels you onto more of the same.

Soon you find yourself living life with more self-confidence and that shows in how you carry yourself, how you speak and how you act which then affects how others respond to you.  Respect for you grows.  You appear to be more in  control, more comfortable with yourself and life, more confident and self-assured.   With excellence you are developing a personal inner sense of largesse.  This leads to a “joie de vivre”, a joy of living!  Look out, it just might be that you’ve discovered your authentic self and are living in your flow or are at least on your way.

This might sound like a subtle distinction.  If it is, then it is subtle yet powerful relative to your emotional growth and self-satisfaction.  Imagine and feel into your life well lived with excellence.  Seriously!  Chances are you’ll choose to let go of the joy-killing toxicity of perfection and live in the abundance of excellence.   Joie de vivre!

If you want to find out more about the  work I do, please visit my site:

3 views0 comments


bottom of page